What I learned throughout my personal journey is that mental health varies greatly from person to person but often overlaps with other facets of our lives too, such as gender and culture. Iâm Chinese Canadian, which brought its own set of challenges into play while growing up in Canada.
Here is my journey with mental health
When I was 15 years old, the loss of my grandfather sent me spiraling into a deep depression. The death of my grandfather was the final catalyst that broke me. A combination of his passing, academic pressures and family issues caused me to eventually hit rock bottom, isolating myself from the outside world and even landing in a youth psychiatric ward for two days for my own safety. Yet, due to cultural stigma and a lack of understanding surrounding mental health, my depression and anxiety remained largely untreated for five agonizing years.Â
The little support that I received was inadequate and dangerous. I still remember in efforts to try to get me to go back to high school after dropping out for a few months, my high school got another familyâs parent, who also happened to be a police officer, to talk to me. He told me that âyouâre wasting your lifeâ in reference to me not attending high school. A very dangerous thing to say to someone who was suicidal months earlier. Even the British Columbia Minister of Family and Childrenâs appointed social workerâs advice was questionable. He taught me a technique to address my anxiety by placing my anxious thoughts in a jar, leaving it on a shelf, and largely ignoring it. In other words, bottle up my fears and move on with my life. Those two people were supposed to help me with my mental health challenges but, instead, made my depression and anxiety worse.
It wasn’t until I was 20 years old and in university that I finally decided to reach out for help again. This time I was lucky, I spoke to doctors and therapists who were more compassionate and supportive in addressing my mental health issues. Through those conversations, I was subsequently diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). The journey that followed was arduous, filled with trying seven different medications, therapy sessions, and even treatments like Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS). Beyond the medical, I tried everything from weighted blankets and light therapy to getting a dog and going on solo-trips while disconnecting from social media and technology. I went through the motions but never truly feeling better. The hopelessness was suffocating, but at least I finally felt heard when reaching out for support.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
- 7 different medications
- Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS)
- Deep Pressure Therapy (weighted blanket)
- Light Therapy
- Pet Therapy (Getting a dog)
- Solo trips and discounting from digital media/technology
- Meditation
After three years of help from therapists, doctors and friends, Iâve finally found a combination of treatments, lifestyle changes and self-care practices that work for me. My depression and anxiety haven’t disappeared completely, but they are manageable. I have hope again.
The Intersectionality of Mental Health
The stigma surrounding mental illnesses within Chinese communities was very strong throughout my childhood. I never had any conversations with my family about mental health and mental illnesses. The topic was taboo and seeking professional help for it was deeply stigmatized. Â
The educational system pressured us students to succeed academically. My parents expected nothing less from me than perfection. There was no room for failure or weakness. Eventually, I realized the impact that it had on me and my overall well-being.
Did you know?
Only 22% of Asian in the US with mental health issues reported receiving mental health services, the lowest within any racial group. In comparison, 48% of White individuals reported receiving services (American Psychiatric Association, 2015).
Understanding the complex web of factors contributing to our mental health is crucial. We are all unique individuals with different traumas, coping mechanisms, and needs. Mental health advocacy means acknowledging these disparities and fighting for personalized solutions, especially for those from marginalized communities who often face additional barriers.
What is intersectionality?
Definition: The complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination (such as racism, sexism, and classism) combine, overlap, or intersect especially in the experiences of marginalized individuals or groups (Merriam-Webster (n.d)
There is hope
If you had asked me five years ago, I would not have believed that I will be where I am today. While my life still has its ups and downs, Iâm proud of how far I have come. I have a close group of friends, an adorable dog named Charlie and a thriving academic and professional career.
If youâre struggling with your own mental health, please know that youâre not alone. There are resources and support systems available. It might take time and effort to find what works for you, but don’t give up.
And for those who want to support others, listen without judgment, offer empathy, and encourage those around you to seek help if they need it. Small acts of kindness can make a world of difference.
My journey is far from over, but hopelessness no longer defines me. I’ve found my light, and I believe you can too. Remember, mental health is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs, but with perseverance and support, you can find your way out of the darkness and into the light.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to all those that supported me throughout my journey. A few of those people include: numerous doctors and therapists, Renzelle Mendoza, Alice Nyugen, Taryn Jessop, Katherine Pan and countless other people.Â
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Disclaimer
This article contains guidelines or advice not intended to self-diagnose or treat. No content should be used as a substitute for direct advice from a qualified professional such as your doctor or mental health professional. Please reach out for support from a certified professional related to the symptoms you may be experiencing.
âIf you are in crisis and require immediate support, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Alternately, please contact the Canada Suicide Prevention Service at 1-833-456-4566 (24/7). For residents of QuĂ©bec, call 1 866 APPELLE (1-866-277-3553).
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